The Golden Goodbye
by Shinylane1.2
Summary: Rick and Kate, married at last, but fate doesn't always bode too well with happy endings. They are in a car accident.  Rick helps her through the devastating death as a result of the accident. A long one shot with a twist in the end. Enjoy


**Hello readers! Thank you for settling on my piece.  
This came to me during English class and while I was supposed to be completing a DBQ, I wrote this. I imagine that I'll be making up the DBQ soon :)**

**It's a one shot, I'm not really sure how I could continue it really.**

**Just a warning, this story starts out confusing, but it'll all make sense in the end. Kind of like the Prestige, if you know what I mean. If not, just read all the way through and it should make sense.**

**Enjoy. **

Kate squinted, letting the obnoxious sunlight stream through the curtains. She blinked, finally realizing that she wasn't going to fall back asleep. As she rolled to the other side, her face almost collided with Rick's.

"Hello gorgeous." he beamed, moving in an inch closer so their noses touched each other.

She brushed the hair out of her eyes, not making an attempt at distancing their faces, "Good morning." she replied, presenting a delighted half smile.

"And how is my sleeping beauty?"

"Happy to see you." she rubbed her eyes from the tiredness.

"You look tired." he explicitly stated.

"Rough night last night."

"I bet. So what are you up today?" He asked, showing that he was already dressed and ready.

"Just hanging out I think."

"I see your dad called." Rick spoke shortly, "What did you tell him?"

She watched him, replaying the painful conversation with her dad, "I told him that some drunk idiot kid crashed into our car Monday night. I told him about the funeral today, don't worry. I know you want him to be there."

"Are you going to go to it?" he asked, watching her sit up.

"I don't think so, why?" she asked defensively, seeing that he wasn't happy with her decision.

"Just wondering." His eyes looked around the room. Kate watched him a moment, wishing again, but knew she should keep from it. She turned back to the dresser, stripping her pajamas. She could feel his eyes on her, and she let her mouth show the tiniest smile.

"Are you watching me?" she turned her head sharply, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Is it a crime, detective?" he quipped. She turned back around, pulling out one of her favorite red button ups. She had the exact same button up tops in almost every color. He had tried to strip her of the habit, to get her to go towards clothing that made her look just as pretty to others as he found her all of the time. She had peaked for a little, wearing tighter fitting clothing that made others on the street stop for a moment to see her pass. But she'd stopped doing it ever since the accident.

Like she'd done when her mom died.

"Wear the green one," she heard him say as she draped the red one around her shoulders. "It goes better with your eyes." Without a word, she buttoned up the greed one. "There's those gorgeous green eyes I married, I haven't seen those in a while."

"It hasn't been that long." She opposed, pursing her lips in defiance.

He stood up from the bed, gliding over to her. "It's been long enough." he said, holding her around the waist. She looked up at him, he was much taller than her when she wasn't wearing her dominant heels, and she liked it better that way. She liked having to hold her head back in order to look him in the eyes- in his blue, blue eyes.

She would miss that.

"How's your concussion?" he asked.

"Eh, feels like I got hit with a steering wheel, as to be expected." she responded.

He chuckled, "And how are you personally?"

She closed her eyes, her brow crinkling, "I can't get the image out of my head. The bloody image of death." she explained.

"I know what you mean."

"No, you don't, actually." She glared.

He paused, seeing that he'd offended her, "Kate, I was in the accident with you."

"I know you were damn it. But you didn't see all of the aftermath, Rick. You didn't perform CPR in a failed attempt to resucitate someone. You did watch someone die that day." she was close to tears but forced them back.

"No." Rick shook his head, "I wasn't there for all of that."

"And all because of a stupid kid."

"I want you to forgive him." He said suddenly. Kate didn't like that, she frowned when she heard him say it.

"Forgive him?" She scoffed, pushing him back a little bit.

"Yeah." He said with no hesitancy.

"Why on earth would I forgive him?" she asked, her attitude not toning down. "He killed-"

"I know." He interrupted, "But he didn't mean to, it was an accident. We all know a little something about accidents, don't we, Kate? Plus, it's the right thing to do. He needs you to forgive him, and so do I."

She sighed, looking down at the ground. "Okay, fine."

When she looked back up, he was smiling at her, "Thank you." He whispered, pulling her in close again. She watched him bend down, but immediately closed her eyes when his lips met her cheek.

But it didn't matter that it was a soft kiss, the pain still came.

"Ow." she winced quietly, brining her hand up to her temple and touching the bandage on her forehead. His figure moved back suddenly.

"I'm sorry." he apologized.

"It's okay." she blinked, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Kate." He moved his hands up and down both of her arms, finally resting on her elbows as he held them comfortingly. "Does it still hurt?"

She nodded, his hand coming to wipe the tear from her face, "All the time, and I don't mean just the bruises."

He smiled, "I can fix that. Let's go downstairs." he pushed her forward, out of their bedroom and down the stairs.

Alexis sat on their couch, clutching a pillow close to herself.

"Good morning, sweat pea." Rick greeted, although Alexis didn't respond. Instead, she gripped the pillow tighter. "Is she still upset?" he asked.

Kate nodded, not wanting to upset the teenager, "Hey, Alexis, how you you doing today?"

Alexis' face jerked up as she saw Kate descending down the stairs. "I'm... well..." she stopped as Kate reached the bottom of the stairs. Alexis' glassy blue eyes looked up, "I can't do this." Her eyes began to fill, and Kate rushed over to her, Rick hot on her heels.

"Sweat heart." She sat on the couch, pulling the young girl into a tight embrace, "I know what you mean."

"Boy problems?" Rick asked.

"I miss him." Alexis nearly interrupted. Kate nodded once again to Rick to confirm his question. "I can hear him sometimes too."

Kate nodded, "I know, baby, I know." She could feel Rick's eyes on them, and she could sense that he wanted to join in on their hug, but hesitancy held him back.

After a moment and Alexis' sobs quieted down, Kate released her to look at her face, "What do you want for breakfast?" she questioned, glancing at Rick who immediately caught on and ran into the kitchen.

"You can have anything you want, Pumpkin!" she shouted, from across the room.

Alexis shook her head, "I'm not hungry today." she replied, her head sinking down.

"Alexis, you said that yesterday and you hardly ate anything when..." Kate trailed off, debating whether or not to proceed. Alexis looked up at her, "... the day it happened."

"You have to eat, honey." Rick joined in on their discussion.

Kate nodded in agreement, "I know you don't want to, but sometimes the thing that you want the least is the best for you."

Reluctantly, she bobbed her head. Kate stood, offering to help her up too.

"There're my girls." he welcomed as they entered the kitchen. Kate pulled out a chair for Alexis, and then one for herself. "What shall it be for the to most beautiful women in the world?"

"I'm glad you're doing this." Rick broke the silence as they walked through the parking lot of the prison.

"Yeah, whatever." she shooed him off, "I'm only doing this for your benefit, just so you know. I don't want to be haunted by bad karma."

She could feel him grin at those words, "Well I really appreciate it." They walked up to the front desk, "We're here to see Jason Mayford." she said. The woman gave her a strange look.

"And who are you?" she asked, typing in on the computer.

"I'm detective Kate Beckett." she answered, holding up her badge.

"It's kinda like an all access pass." Rick noted. It took a moment to get settled through security, but when they did, they were sent directly to see the man who infuriated her.

A security guard escorted a short, caucasian teenager with sandy blonde hair into the visitors room. His eyes were red and puffy, probably from crying. When he saw her there at the table, he turned a deep shade of red.

"Mrs. Beckett." he said, sitting down next to her. Kate could feel Rick's eyes on her every move.

She sighed, "Jason, hi." she spoke softly.

The young man broke down at that moment, "I am so sorry!" he cried, covering his face with his cuffed hands, "It was all just a big accident! I never meant to drink that much! I'm so sorry for what I did to you and your family!" he gasped, still sobbing incredibly hard.

Out of pure shock, Kate looked over at Rick who motioned for her to do something. Seeing that he really was sorry for what he took from her gave her a knew approach. She grabbed the teens hands and peeled them from his face. She held them tightly, something she'd had to do with Alexis several times whenever she cried. As she did this, the boy stopped crying immediately.

"Jason..." she said firmly, looking him in the eyes, "I just wanted to say, with what happened on Monday, I know it was an accident, and I forgive you." Jason looked back at her, a look of relief was suddenly present on his face.

"Thank you." he murmured as he realized what she was saying, he squeezed her hands, "If there's anything I can do, this is all my fault."

She shook her head, "People make mistakes, it's a fact of life." she assured him.

He silently watched her, "I really needed to hear that."

"Alright!" Rick clapped his hands loudly, "Now let's get dressed and go!"

They strolled along the grassy area silently for a few moments. Kate felt the sudden breeze whistle through the oak trees.

"You knew I was gonna do that, didn't you?" she asked him. When he gave her a confused look, she clarified, "You knew that once you got me in there, I was really gonna forgive him, that it wouldn't just be for you."

He shrugged with a slight grin, "Maybe..."

"Well I'm glad you invaded my mind like that, it really was the right thing to do." She giggled. "So where are you taking me now?"

"I wanna show you something, it's something you really need to see to let off some steam from the past few nights."

"And where is that?" she asked, reading his expression.

"You''ll see soon enough." he said, looking ahead as they walked further. The walked for a while before she felt him hold her hand. He'd rarely done that, but she loved with when he did. "Listen." he said, stopping in front of her, "There's something you need to do for me."

She rolled her eyes, and acted as if annoyed.

"You have to forgive yourself, for everything that went down in the accident. It wasn't your fault."

"You are so annoying." she teased, trying to protect herself.

Rick's face was no longer grinning like it had been the entire day. Instead, it was more serious than she had ever seen it.

He really wasn't joking anymore, "Okay." She finally gave in.

"Good." his smile returned, although it was less life filled than it had been before.

"So you said you wanted to show me something, so what is it?" she questioned playfully.

Esposito's voice was heard suddenly from behind them, "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Well I just want to see what he has to show me." she laughed.

Esposito's frown deepened, "Who?"

Now it was Kate who was furrowing her brow. She turned her head sharply to see if Rick was confused as well, only he wasn't there. It was as if he didn't exist anymore.

But she had already know that.

Her eyes still looked around for his presence until finally she accepted that he wasn't coming back.

She opened the hand that he'd been holding, and what was left was his wedding ring. The one that she'd given him on their lovely wedding day three years ago. Now, there was no finger to put it on.

She blinked and the tears that he had wiped away that morning were returning, except he wasn't there to erase him.

Tentatively, she looked up the hill to see rows chairs that people were quickly filling, and a coffin covered in fresh, white flowers on display. Next to the coffin was a large photo of him for viewing. A funeral just like he would've wanted.

"It's okay." Esposito finally said as he walked towards her. He comfortingly put a hand on her shoulder and they proceeded to walk to the group of mourning people.

They were one of the first to sit down, but it wasn't long before Lanie and Ryan and Captain Montgomery arrived as well. Alexis held on to Kate's arm, crying softly into it.

"Today, we are here to rejoice the life of Richard Edgar Castle, whose life was cut short by a drunk driver in a car accident Monday night. Fortunately, his wife, Kathryn, was spared." The priest began. "He was a beloved husband, father, son and friend."

Kate listened, not afraid to hide the tears like she had been doing all along. All of the days he'd visited her after the accident, he'd been trying to get to her understand that he wasn't coming back. And now, she was finally listening.

_Acceptance can take a lot of different forms. But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it can be. With the help of the others around you'll get through it too._

_Endings are never easy. Some people build them up in their heads to where they couldn't possibly live up to their expectations and people can end up disappointed. Goodbyes don't matter, as long as the one you're letting go knows how much you care- that's the golden goodbye._

**Thank you readers, I hope you don't hate me for that. The two quotes at the end are modified Scrubs quotes.**

**I hope this story made sense, sometimes I write things that I totally understand but nobody else does. If it didn't make sense, I am truly sorry- and here is a summary incase you want to give it another go.**

**Kate and Rick were in a car accident because a drunk driver (jason) hit them, only Rick didn't survive. Rick tries to get Kate to forgive the kid who hit them, because he doesn't want her to have that hate hanging over her head for the rest of her life. My purpose was to make you think that someone else died, and Rick's trying to help her through it, when really, it was his ghost with her the whole time. That's why nobody ever made contact with him.**

**Thank you all for reading. Now, before you get your fire and pitchforks and set your pitbulls loose at my house, I just want you guys to know I NEVER EVER want this to happen in the show- or anything like it. **

**Much love, and have a great day!**

**Sarah**


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